The Best Gosh-Darn Gingerbread Cookies Ever (Japan-style)

Ooooooooo-kay. First, I dedicate this blog entry to Uncle Ben (who, I'm sure, was just waiting for me to post something completely and unabashedly ~all~ about food. Go ahead. Comment away) and Abby (who gave me that little bit of dangerous assurance that someone's out there reading the blog and interested in recipies).

Before cooking commences, here's the back-story. I had kind of a shitty evening tonight-- got completely walloped by one of the elementary 1st graders in kendo... she didn't really pay attention when I said that what she was doing hurt (hey, I was wearing protective gear), but now I'm nursing a line of small wealts and a hand-sized bruise. I don't think anything's broken... but man... boys beware when this girl becomes a teen... she can take care of herself!

... and so I came home and baked cookies and now feel much better ^^ It must be a Granville (my mother's side of the family) thing.

This is gingerbread a la Japan. By which I mean it includes ingredients that can be found in Japan (hey, if I can get them on the island, any of ya'll mainlanders should be able to dig up this stuff too) which, I must point out, does NOT include molasses, brown sugar, or ground ginger. That's right. No ground ginger necessary. But how, you ask, will you make gingerbread men cookies without ground ginger? The answer, my friends, is 'cuz we've got the real stuff over here. That's right. Scary, twisted brown ginger root strong enough to knock you into next week or at least Korea (hey, it's only 53 kilometers away). You may be able to find it in the states (or outside of Asia) in fru-fru healthy/organic grocery stores or Asian food markets.

And, before I forget, a big hand to Tulip Girl for posting this recipe (www.tulipgirl.com/mt/archives/000930.html)... it's nice to know there are people out sharing the Japan-friendly recipe love. (if you want a copy of the recipe without my crazy, distracting, and possibly superfulous comments, then go to this link for a clean, undisrupted copy of the recipe :)

A brief pre-cooking warning: This is going to be messy. Verrrrrrrry messy. Possibly more messy than your kitchen has every been before (with the exceptions, perhaps, of my mother... even though that whole cover-the-floor-with-flour thing was my fault, and I was probably old enough to know better... and Adam of the South... I'll repeat it again, you're way lucky to not have a bug problem ;) SO. By the end of this recipe, expect to have flour dusted half-way across the kitchen, splatters of dough everywhere, and your clothes a mess. Please dress accordingly.

First step: turn on the festive holiday 'tunes. Yes, do it now. I speak from experience. You will be incapable of it later. If you aren't in holiday music mood or you just love these cookies so much that you're making them in non-holiday season, then get out the hard rock music. It will make things interesting mid-recipe.

Next, gather together the following ingredients:

4 cups flour (plus an unexpected shitload more... have 4 more cups just to be safe)
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
4 full teaspoons chopped or grated fresh ginger (3+ inches of ginger root)
(optional: 1 teaspoon ground ginger)
250 grams butter (that's 8 oz for you non-metric folks)
4 small eggs
2 teaspoons honey

Ready? Okay! (don't throw your pom-poms at me yet. we haven't even started.)

Ooooo, you'll need one other thing too. A giant-ass bowl. Like, huge. At least twice the size of the one I used. Maybe big enough to fit two large heads of cabbage. Comfortably.

So, mix the flour (the 4 cups; hold the rest in reserve for later) in your gigantic bowl with the baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Using your sparkling clean hands (because I know you washed them before you started cooking. We're hygenic, aren't we?), rub in the butter.

[Now, I ~know~ that if anyone who reads this and actually tries it will probably just melt the butter in the microwave. It's easier, saves time, and is less messy. But I do believe there is a difference between melted and hand-mooshed butter.]

So rub the butter into the mixture until everything gets all crumbly. Then add the sugar and rub that in. Grate your ginger or cut it very finely. Beat the 4 eggs and add the ginger, eggs, and honey. Mix everything throughly with. your. hands!

[Now... I hope you turned on the festive tunes at the beginning if you wanted to. Do you see now why it's impossible mid-recipe?

For those of you who opted for the hard rock music at the beginning... this is the point at which you can make your meanest, snarling face, raise your hands our of the bowl of dough, and do a great impression of the Mud Creature from Scooby Doo. Really!... the sticky, dripping brown dough and everything... it's classic].

...added your 4 cups of flour? Okay. This is where your "unexpected shitload more" of flour comes in. You need to add enough flour so the dough is roll-able. What, it's sticking to your hands like you're the Mud Creature from Scooby Doo?! Well then... just keep adding flour ^^

... as you're adding endless amounts of flour... this is the point in the recipe where those brave enough to consume raw eggs (or those who just never grew up) can taste the dough. On the grand scale of cookie dough goodness, I'd give this a 4/5. I don't know if much can beat classic chocolate chip cookie dough, but this is less salty (so less of a gaggy aftertaste even after you've eaten too much) and the raw ginger gives it an extra-special zing. Try it, you'll like it ;)

Next... according to the recipe, once the dough is roll-able, you're supposed to roll it out on a surface that is first cleaned and then dusted with flour. The dough may then be cut into shapes. You could do that, I suppose. Or, if you're lazy like me (and don't have access to cookie-cutters anyway), you could roll bits of dough into a small balls (each 1-2 walnuts large) and smoosh them flat. Voila! ..you've just avoided a bigger mess and saved a bunch of time.

Put a bunch of these smooshed balls on a greased tray and bake them at 180 degrees C (that's ~350 degrees F) 15-20 mins.

And enjoy :) ...I'd recommend a nice glass of Hokkaido full-fat milk to accompany. Great for dipping.