On teacher sentimentality

Well, it's that time of year again. I'm getting ready for my heart to break into a million pieces (well, about 65 this year) as my 3-nenseis graduate from middle school and move beyond my teaching territory.

Perhaps that is a bit of an overstatement. I'm not particularly close to any one class of 3-nenseis this year (heck, I'm just starting to remember a few of their names consistently, given that I don't see some of them that often), although I am going to miss a select group of sparkling individuals. But with only a short time left, my good schools make a huge push for the 3nenseis to "make good last memeories," which includes a day of sports competition later this week. Everyone laughs a little louder and smiles more, knowing the end is coming.

And, in these last couple of weeks, the graduating 3nenseis are a lot of fun to be around. They're pretty much finished with classes and examinations, only waiting now to hear back from the high schools to which they applied. We spend last classes trying to make good last memories. (well, when I am informed of when my last classes will be... this year my JTEs have been rather off about telling me when our last classes are, so I had a few of them without knowing they were the last classes, which seriously f*cks with my mental preparation to saying goodbye.)

Last week, for example, in my first last-class-with-3nenseis of this year, I had the students write farewell-ish notes to each other, just short jottings like you'd write to your friends in their yearbook. Unfortunately they haven't received their yearbooks yet, so they're pasting the cards into the back of their English textbooks. One student wrote (to the best student in the class), "Listen to your teachers in high school." Someone else asked me how to say something to the effect of, "You're my kind of crazy." A few of the lower-ability students were just writing words like, "soccer play fun," but you knew what they meant. I felt so proud, looking over their shoulders and seeing them struggle to express their feelings. During activities like these, I don't care about their grammar; as long as they try hard and get their message across, it's awesome. And they were all awesome.

I've wondered a little lately if, after my 3nenseis are graduated and thrown into the rigors of high school studying, will they remember our English classes fondly? ...did I teach them anything that will last? ...I look around at Japanese adults and know that many of my students will probably never go abroad, never have an opportunity to regularly practice their English, and will lose their English speaking ability quickly after their schooling is finished. I accept this. After all, how much French do I remember, after studying it for 4 years in high school? I tried to teach them how to understand without 'getting' every word that is said, and this I hope they remember. I hope that some of them learned it's okay to be goofy and use hand guestures if it improves communication. I hope they saw the value in learning about other cultures and using the contrast to reflect on their own 'Japanese' way of doing things.

And I hope that after today I can manage to not cry in front of the departing 3nenseis. It really freaked them out.